Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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