i'm signing you up for texting rehab
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize