Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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