Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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