was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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