At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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