I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize