Girls should come with a carfax report
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
