I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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