I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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