hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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