I accidentally burped into my bong.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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