The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
