Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize