dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize