I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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