you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
