PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
