forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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