Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
