What a fucking waste of an outfit
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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