and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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