He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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