...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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