i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
