I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
