For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
