I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
is wine microwaveable?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we're making bets on your personal life
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
