It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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