physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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