i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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