you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
