8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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