I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
