you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
