I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
