When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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