When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
