respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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