I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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