But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
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so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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