And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
