We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
