i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We need to rekindle our bromance
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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