He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
