I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
