How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
her vagine was all disorganized.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
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he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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