I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize