just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
