So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
