it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
