The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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