things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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