literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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