Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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