It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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