Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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