It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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