D3 body, D1 cock
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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