what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
