Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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