1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
