if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
